Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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