Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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