I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
