it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
