Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
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My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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