She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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