Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
