I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I understand Curling. That high.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
