It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize