so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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