It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
