thus making me awesome and them whores
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize