the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
