yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
