and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize