I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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