i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
