You made me cry and you don't even care
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
