I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm too high and old for this...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
