This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
