Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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