I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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