I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
