just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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