belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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