That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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