HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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