My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
