The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We have started to decorate penises.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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