I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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