I'm so fucking centered right now
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
