i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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