Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
