Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Randomize
