I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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