Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize