Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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