I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
