Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
