We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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