Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
