Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize