here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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