Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
