AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
