i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can't turn off my feet"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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