You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
