You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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