i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
