I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
