Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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