wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
