we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
