Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
