You're so nebulous sometimes
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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