And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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