Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
