ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why didn't you poke me back
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
