Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize