Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize