My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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