did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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