Porn is love you can see.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
